Category: tom bombadil

Concept: Evil Tom Bombadil. 

Named Jon Bombadil. Lives in a small patch of land in Mordor with his wife, Ironberry. If you wander into his domain he tortures you while chanting ominously. He wears an orange jacket and purple boots.

The gunman holds the barrel up to my head. “All you have to do is read the words on the paper in front of you, and you’re free to go. Just say them.”

I stare down at the words. Tom Bombadil is Eru Ilúvatar’s avatar in Middle Earth.

“Just pull the trigger,” I say. 

Reeds by the shady pool, lilies on the water:

Old Tom Bombadil and the River-daughter!

J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Sam: Do you think we’ll ever be put into song or story, Mr. Frodo?

Frodo: I’m sure we will, Sam. 

Sam: Do you think, if that happens, the story will include Tom Bombadil? I mean, he seems important to me, sir. 

Frodo: I’m sure any tale about us would have to include old Tom. I mean, how could it not? He helped show us that there was limit to the influence of Sauron’s evil. And during my stay there, it became clear that the ring had a hold over me. It certainly seems like an important scene to add. I just don’t see why he’d be cut from any tale, if you ask me. 

Who is constantly trying to catch Tom Bombadil, to the point where Tom mentions specifically that no one has ever caught him? Is it a game or is Tom in danger for some reason? Also he lives in a super tiny section of a forest with boundaries that he never crosses, he seems super easy to catch. 

In the movies, when Frodo put on the ring, Barad Dur always got real close and Sauron started whispering at him. I like to imagine that the same thing happened when Tom Bombadil put on the ring, and Tom said something like “Ho! Tom Bombadil, Tom Bombadilo!” and Sauron was like what the fuck is happening, who is this guy?

Of course they shouldn’t have given the ring to Tom Bombadil. But if they had, the scene of Sauron going to Tom’s house and knocking on his door to ask for the ring (because that’s exactly what would have happened) would have been amazing. Especially after Tom tells him that he lost it. 

Goldberry: Tom, do you want to try the new Elvish restaurant that just opened in Bree?

Tom Bombadil: do they deliver?

Goldberry: no, it’s dine-in only.

Tom: honey, you know I never leave my land. How about we get a pizza delivered again?

Goldberry: *sigh* I’m so tired of pizza

Are some of your deep roots not being reached by the frost? Hi, Farmer Maggot here. I know that not every plant in your yard is as important as the White Tree of Gondor. Sometimes you have weeds, and we don’t all have ents tending to our fields, haha. So pick up some of Farmer Maggot’s Weed Killer today. It’ll targets all of your nasty pests, while leaving your kingsfoil and other useful plants to thrive. And it has the Bombadil seal of approval on the front, so you know you can trust it. Buy some today. 

While talking with the Hobbits, Tom Bombadil puts on the One Ring. For a moment, all of the Nazgul burst into merry song. It is never discussed among them again.