Category: the lord of the rings

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Tolkien: Even the smallest person can change the course of the future

Tolkien: People might not get the subtext of what I’m saying with that quote. 

Tolkien: Let me make the hero of my story literally like 2 and a half feet tall. 

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The Hobbit book: “He wasn’t a bad fellow, and quite decent to the prisoners”

The Hobbit film: 

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The least realistic thing about the Lord of the Rings is that a team got together for a group project, decided everything in one meeting, and their plan worked.

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If Bilbo feels like he is butter scraped over too much bread, how much bread does Frodo feel like he is butter that has been scraped over, by the end of the Return of the King? What about Gollum? What about the Witch King?

Please answer below, writing your answer in the form of slices of bread. 

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Tom Bombadil: *sends barrow weight to the void* 

 Other barrow weights: hey uhh…Mr. Bombadil…do the rest of us get to keep living on your land? 

 Tom: are you going to kidnap any hobbits? 

 Barrow wights: we’ll try not to. 

 Tom: then you can stay

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Downside to a large wedding: cost, logistics/coordination, fear of public speaking

Upside to a large wedding: probably the best opportunity I’ll ever have to say “I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve”

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When Gloin says that Bilbo looks more like a grocer than a burglar Bilbo feels insulted, but his last name is Baggins which is the perfect grocer name. 

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Nienna is a healer of the mind and spirit, but what the Silm doesn’t mention is that she charges $225 per session if you don’t have insurance.

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1st elves to meet humans: hey, neat!

60 years later: hey y’all are looking all wrinkly. Is everything okay?

30 years later: man humans are weak as shit, it’s fucked up

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Aragorn: seek out a weed called athelas. It can help this wound. It also makes for a great conditioner for that long, messy hair look. That’s mostly what I use it for.