Category: the hobbit

Regular

Although we only see Gandalf die and return once, he actually died seven times throughout the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings. He was constantly shuffling back and forth between Valinor and Middle Earth. When he disappeared in the Hobbit briefly before the encounter with the trolls? Died. When he went off to get help for the battle of Helms Deep? Died. 

Bilbo’s parents watching from heaven

Belladonna: I’m so proud to see him going off on an adventure! There really is some Took in him after all.

Bungo: He forgot his pocket handkerchief! Who forgets their pocket handkerchief?

Regular

Bilbo, in the Hobbit: gets captured by goblins in a mountain, has to come up with riddles to save his life in a mountain, has to survive a cunning dragon in a mountain.

Bilbo, in LotR: I want to see mountains again, Gandalf.

Regular

In a great hall with pillars hewn out of the living stone sat the Elvenking on a chair of carven wood. On his head was a crown of berries and red leaves, for the autumn was come again. In the spring he wore a crown of woodland flowers. In his hand he held a carven staff of oak. He wore no other clothes.

Objects of desire

The Silmarils: created by Feanor, shine with the light of the two trees, hallowed by Varda.

The One Ring: created by Sauron, gives dominion over others, incredibly powerful.

The Arkenstone: shiny rock that the dwarves found? Just very shiny and neat?

Regular

Coffee exists in Middle Earth according to the Hobbit. In actual history, coffee may have been discovered by an Ethiopian shepherd noticing that his goats were very energetic after eating some of the beans. In Middle Earth, I like to picture an analogous origin except with Morgoth and his dragons.

Regular

Golf is canon in Middle Earth because it was mentioned in the Hobbit, so where are all the fancy, extravagant, members-only golf courses? Does Mordor have one? If golf was invented by a Hobbit, who invented minigolf?

Regular

Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Apparently Sauron was a Necromancer, so…yes? I think so? It’s not very clear but I’m gonna go with yes, as long as you’re okay with necromancy. 

Regular

The entire conversation between Bilbo and Gandalf about going on an adventure, except it’s Morgoth trying to convince Ungoliant to attack Valinor with him. 

Regular

I’m amazed that Tolkien, who had a near addiction to making up new words, would be willing to settle on the phrase “second breakfast” without calling it something else.