Category: the fellowship of the ring

Regular

Gollum, but with the personality and accent of a New York City cab driver. 

“Wait, you’s guys is trying to get to Mount Doom, and you wanna go through the Black Gate? No no no, the congestion that way is gonna be murder. Let me show you guy’s a secret route – not the best neighborhood, but whatever – that’ll get you there in half the time.”

Regular

Elrond: based on my understanding of the One Ring, we want a ringbearer who won’t be tempted to use the ring or powerful enough to do anything if they succumbed to it. 

Gandalf: so…like…a baby?

Elrond: exactly what I was thinking. But a baby will turn invisible if it puts the ring on, and no one would be able to find an invisible baby!

Gimli: not if it was a dwarven baby! it wouldn’t turn invisible.

Elrond: perfect! we need a dwarven baby to be our ringbearer. 

Regular

“Deep roots are not reached by the frost“ is a reference to getting frosted tips in your hair, because the highlights are just at the tips and don’t reach the roots. This leads me to believe that this part of the poem is describing Aragorn’s hair. 

Regular

“I am sorry,” said Frodo. “But I am frightened; and I do not feel
any pity for Gollum.”

“You have not seen him,” Gandalf broke in.

“Why, what does he look like?“ asked Frodo.

“Just hideous,“ said Gandalf. “Like an old chicken wing that fell on the floor a year ago and you just found. With like three hairs. You look at him and you just want to cry. How could he exist? I’m an angel and I have no idea how he was created.”

Regular

Who is constantly trying to catch Tom Bombadil, to the point where Tom mentions specifically that no one has ever caught him? Is it a game or is Tom in danger for some reason? Also he lives in a super tiny section of a forest with boundaries that he never crosses, he seems super easy to catch. 

Regular

Frodo began to feel restless, and the old paths seemed too well-trodden. He looked at maps, and wondered what lay beyond their edges: but Tolkien weirdly never drew any of those, so he couldn’t. 

To the tune of Dancing Queen

You are an elven queen

Considering

Taking the One Ring

Regular

Peter Jackson: So for this character, we need someone so beautiful that another character says that he wishes he didn’t come on the journey, because she’s so pretty it’s dangerous. We need to cast someone so hot that it’s perilous to even see her. 

Casting director: Cate Blanchett.

Peter Jackson: Got it in one. Perfect. 

Regular

For his entire time in the Fellowship, Boromir thought that Pippin’s first name was “Foolofa.”

Regular

I know Gandalf is being nice when he tells Butterbur, “May your beer be laid under an enchantment of surpassing excellence for seven years!” But what happens after those years? Does the beer just start to go downhill? What happens when all of the customers get angry and start going to other places? Either bless a place forever, or don’t bother.