Category: the fellowship of the ring

On a hike

My friend: hey did you bring some protein bars?

Me: Lembas? I have some here. 

Friend: I don’t think I know that brand, but sure. Can I have one?

Me *handing bar*: Of course. A single bite will sustain you for a who-

Friend: Why is this Larabar wrapped in a leaf?


I’m just saying, if the Council took Bilbo up on his offer to take the ring to Mordor, he would have done it in a merry fashion, had a great adventure, and returned with a bunch of riches from Mordor. Not sure why they didn’t go with that. 


I’m amazed that Tolkien, who had a near addiction to making up new words, would be willing to settle on the phrase “second breakfast” without calling it something else.


Gandalf’s eyes flashed. ‘It will be my turn to get angry soon,’ he
said. ‘If you say that again, I shall. Then you will see Gandalf the
Grey uncloaked.’ He took a step towards the hobbit and began unbuttoning his shirt. 


Gandalf: I am a servant of the secret fire, wielder of the flame of anor.

Balrog: if it’s a secret fire why are you bragging about it?


When Frodo says, “Go not to the Elves for counsel,
for they will say both no and yes,” he’s talking to Gildor, who is one of the Noldor, who are a race of elves that actually had a problem with not saying no sometimes. 


Gandalf: I’ve located the One Ring. We should marshal the forced of elves, men, and dwarves into an army to attach Mordor and destroy the ring and Sauron once and for all. 

Elrond: An alliance of elves, men, and dwarves? In this economy? We can afford to pay like, 9 people to do this. 

Gandalf: Okay, I have another idea then. 

Magic and Music are related in Middle Earth

The Balrog reached the bridge. Gandalf stood in the middle of the span, leaning on the staff in his left hand. Suddenly he took out a banjo from behind his robes and began to strum it menacingly. The Balrog halted. “You cannot pass,” Gandalf began to sing.


Gandalf: Well, here at last, dear friends, on the shores of the Sea comes the end of our fellowship in Middle-earth. I know that there’s literally a chapter called “The Breaking of the Fellowship” all the way back in the Fellowship of the Ring, but we’re gonna ignore that for a moment. That was just Boromir dying and everyone splitting up. This is the real breaking of the fellowship. 


Sam: Do you think we’ll ever be put into song or story, Mr. Frodo?

Frodo: I’m sure we will, Sam. 

Sam: Do you think, if that happens, the story will include Tom Bombadil? I mean, he seems important to me, sir. 

Frodo: I’m sure any tale about us would have to include old Tom. I mean, how could it not? He helped show us that there was limit to the influence of Sauron’s evil. And during my stay there, it became clear that the ring had a hold over me. It certainly seems like an important scene to add. I just don’t see why he’d be cut from any tale, if you ask me.