Category: the fellowship of the ring

Gandalf: All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us. 

Frodo: I mean…yeah. 

Frodo: That’s just life. You have to decide things until you die. 

Frodo: That doesn’t help me at all. Unless you’re telling me to kill myself, and make the ring someone else’s problem? I suppose that would work though. 

Elrond: this is going to need to be a secretive quest. We need a small group who can move around without suspicion. 

Elrond: I think we should go with the the son of the steward of Gondor, members of races that hate each other and would never be seen working together, and four hobbits, creatures who everyone thinks are fictional. Also a wizard. 

Elrond: You know, a covert group. 

Sam: If I take one more step it’ll be the farthest away from home I’ve ever been.

Frodo: Come on, Sam. 

Sam: *Takes step.*

Sam: If I take one more step it’ll be the farthest away from home I’ve ever been. *Steps*

Frodo: Are you going to do that for every step now?

Sam: If I take one more step it’ll be the farthest away from home I’ve ever been.

Elrond: And you shall be the fellowship of the ring!

Pippin: Great! We’ll all stick together and make sure to accomplish this task as a team! We’re united forever in fellowship.

Elrond: united forever? That sounds like union talk. We’re only paying you guys for this task as individual temporary contributors, and I can have another nine fellowship members here tomorrow morning if I hear anything to the contrary. 

Merry: we want to join this adventure too!

Pippin: yeah! we should go with Frodo! Anywhere he goes, we’ll go too. 

Elrond: okay, okay, little Hobbits. You may join the Fellowship of the Ring. Now, we just need all of the Fellowship members to pass a drug test before they leave. 

Merry: uhhh…

Pippin: right… 

Merry: Well, Frodo, have a good time on this journey of yours. 

Pippin: Best of luck to you all. 

Frodo obviously becomes very concerned when he learns that Sauron wants to find him, but I have a hard time taking that scene seriously because 

“O Gandalf, best of friends, what am I to do?”

is just a ridiculous line that makes me laugh every time. 

My friend: hey did you bring some protein bars?

Me: Lembas? I have some here. 

Friend: I don’t think I know that brand, but sure. Can I have one?

Me *handing bar*: Of course. A single bite will sustain you for a who-

Friend: Why is this Larabar wrapped in a leaf?

I’m just saying, if the Council took Bilbo up on his offer to take the ring to Mordor, he would have done it in a merry fashion, had a great adventure, and returned with a bunch of riches from Mordor. Not sure why they didn’t go with that. 

I’m amazed that Tolkien, who had a near addiction to making up new words, would be willing to settle on the phrase “second breakfast” without calling it something else.

Gandalf’s eyes flashed. ‘It will be my turn to get angry soon,’ he
said. ‘If you say that again, I shall. Then you will see Gandalf the
Grey uncloaked.’ He took a step towards the hobbit and began unbuttoning his shirt.