Category: the council of elrond

Elrond: based on my understanding of the One Ring, we want a ringbearer who won’t be tempted to use the ring or powerful enough to do anything if they succumbed to it. 

Gandalf: so…like…a baby?

Elrond: exactly what I was thinking. But a baby will turn invisible if it puts the ring on, and no one would be able to find an invisible baby!

Gimli: not if it was a dwarven baby! it wouldn’t turn invisible.

Elrond: perfect! we need a dwarven baby to be our ringbearer. 

Considering that

a) The One Ring never changed hands, Frodo brought it and took it

b) Everyone just went around telling stories one at a time

I think the Council of Elrond is a great example of a meeting that could have just been an email

Frodo: I will take the ring. 

Elrond: What does everything here think? Should Frodo be the ringbearer?

Gandalf: You know how the whole world is a song?

Elrond: Yeah

Gandalf: Halfling rhymes with ring. 

Elrond: Well that’s good enough for me. Frodo, you’re the ringbearer.

The Valar gave Elrond and Gandalf a ton of gold to gather a Fellowship and pay them to deal with the ring. They got a few expensive adventurers, but by drafting 4 young Hobbits they were able to save a significant amount, keeping it for themselves. In fact, none of the Hobbits even mention being paid. It’s why Bilbo wasn’t allowed to be the one to take the ring – he would have made sure he got some treasure for it. This conspiracy is plain as day to anyone who has read the books. 

Boromir: I know the Hobbit aesthetic is to go barefoot. But aren’t we worried about Frodo walking into a volcano?

Frodo: Hobbit soles are naturally thicker! We never use shoes!

Boromir: anyone can walk barefoot around the Shire! It’s just grass and flat dirt roads. You need to climb a mountain that’s filled with lava! Why doesn’t anyone understand?

Elrond: The Company of the Ring shall be Nine; and the Nine Walkers shall be set against the Nine Riders that are evil.

Pippin: Which of us is set against the Witch King specifically? I don’t want it to be me. Merry can do it, though.

Erestor: We cannot seek to destroy the ring! That is the path of despair. 

Gandalf: It is not despair, for despair is only for those who see the end beyond all doubt. We do not.

Frodo: You play the lottery every week, right?

Gandalf: of course. One of the days I’m definitely going to win the Mega Millions. There’s always a chance, you know. 

The least realistic thing about the Lord of the Rings is that a team got together for a group project, decided everything in one meeting, and their plan worked.

Is it too much to ask for a Lord of the Rings/Hamilton crossover where “the room where it happens” is a song about Boromir wanting to be at the Council of Elrond?

Merry: I have a suggestion that I think none of you have thought of yet.

Elrond: This Council is important, little Hobbit. We do not have time-

Boromir: Let the little one speak, I am interested. 

Merry: I think we should arrest Sauron for murder. He would never see that coming. 

Elrond: I told you.