Category: sauron

Regular

Why did people in the Hobbit think Sauron was a Necromancer? Did they SEE him raise any dead people? Did they even get close enough to Dol Guldur to spy on some dark rituals? Or was it mostly ad hoc slander to justify kicking out a PEACEFUL spirit from his home who RARELY kidnapped any dwarves. 

Regular

With so many people upset about the final season of Game of Thrones, I’m getting nervous about the upcoming Lord of the Rings show. 

“I can’t believe they didn’t show Sauron convincing the king to perform human sacrifice!”

“I totally thought the fall of Numenor was going to take more than one episode. Like, that wave was barely fifty feet high!”

“In the books Elendil is like 8 feet tall, I can’t believe they couldn’t find an actor taller than 6′1.”

Regular

I know Gandalf wanted Smaug to be killed to he couldn’t align with Sauron, but seriously Smaug is the laziest dragon ever. How was Sauron supposed to use him for evil when all he wants to do is sleep on a pile of gold?

Regular

Morgoth: Don’t adventures ever have an end? I suppose not. Someone else always has to carry on the story.

Sauron: I’ll do my best to continue your legacy. Starting with some human sacrifice on Numenor 

Regular

March 25th, T.A. 3019

The One Ring is destroyed in the fires of Mount Doom, and Sauron defeated once and for all.

Regular

Sauron’s 1 ring + 9 moral rings = 10 working evil rings

Elves 3 rings + 7 dwarves rings = 10 rings that didn’t make wraiths

I don’t know what to do with this information but only 50% of the rings were effective which means Sauron got an F in ring forging. 

Regular

Elves: Hey Sauron is getting pretty strong. Can we get some help over here?

Valar: We’re sending some wizards. 

Elves: Okay cool. How many?

Valar: Uh…five. 

Elves: Are they particularly powerful?

Valar: No. We’re starting them out on low power. We’ll increase it if we have to. 

Elves:

Elves: Really learning from the 1st age, aren’t you. 

Regular

Are we supposed to believe that Sauron needed the one ring to go on the outside of his armored glove? Just so that everyone would be able to see it? Would he really be that dramatic?

Regular

The three elves rings drew power from the One Ring but Sauron didn’t have any access to them. What a back-fire for him. How humiliating that must have been.

Regular

Mouth of Sauron: So you want me to go tell them that we’re torturing Frodo?

Sauron: Yeah

Mouth of Sauron: Do we actually have him?

Sauron: No, but we’re looking. 

Mouth of Sauron:

Mouth of Sauron: If they find out I’m bluffing, I’m gonna look really stupid. 

Sauron: They’re going to believe you. You’re very scary looking, Greg. 

Mouth of Sauron: Thanks. That means a lot.