Elves: Hey Sauron is getting pretty strong. Can we get some help over here?
Valar: We’re sending some wizards.
Elves: Okay cool. How many?
Elves: Are they particularly powerful?
Valar: No. We’re starting them out on low power. We’ll increase it if we have to.
Elves: Really learning from the 1st age, aren’t you.
Are we supposed to believe that Sauron needed the one ring to go on the outside of his armored glove? Just so that everyone would be able to see it? Would he really be that dramatic?
The three elves rings drew power from the One Ring but Sauron didn’t have any access to them. What a back-fire for him. How humiliating that must have been.
Mouth of Sauron: So you want me to go tell them that we’re torturing Frodo?
Mouth of Sauron: Do we actually have him?
Sauron: No, but we’re looking.
Mouth of Sauron:
Mouth of Sauron: If they find out I’m bluffing, I’m gonna look really stupid.
Sauron: They’re going to believe you. You’re very scary looking, Greg.
Mouth of Sauron: Thanks. That means a lot.
It’s never clarified that all of the Fell Beasts died after Sauron was destroyed, so I assume in the 4th age men tamed them and like, every family had one to fly around on.
“There is nothing that Sauron cannot turn to evil uses.” – The Two Towers
Things I want to see used for evil:
- Fatty Lumpkin
- Boromir’s horn
- Farmer Maggot’s bacon
Men: Sauron taking over
Elves: Sauron taking over
Dwarves: Sauron taking over
Wizards: Sauron taking over
In the movies, when Frodo put on the ring, Barad Dur always got real close and Sauron started whispering at him. I like to imagine that the same thing happened when Tom Bombadil put on the ring, and Tom said something like “Ho! Tom Bombadil, Tom Bombadilo!” and Sauron was like what the fuck is happening, who is this guy?
PLEASE SIGNAL BOOST: I’m trying to reboot LotR but this time, Barad Dur is a giant mech that Sauron uses to attack Gondor. I need the Tolkien family or Warner Bros to see this.