Category: pippin

Pippin: I didn’t think it would end this way.

Gandalf: End? No, the journey doesn’t end here. Death is just another path, one that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass, and then you see it.

Pippin: What? Gandalf? See what?

Gandalf: Orlando, Florida. Disneyland. The greatest place on earth, Pippin. Epcot. Animal Kingdom. The final resting place of the mortal soul. 

Pippin: I didn’t think it would end this way.

Gandalf: How did you think it would end?

Pippin: I mean…in a haze of pipeweed, stuffed with food, choking on a final teacake? That always seemed likely for me. 

Elrond: The Company of the Ring shall be Nine; and the Nine Walkers shall be set against the Nine Riders that are evil.

Merry: Why not ten?

Pippin: Good point. Ten is more than nine. 

Treebeard: My name is growing all the time, and I’ve lived a very long, long time; so my name is like a story.

Merry: What was your name when you were young?

Treebeard: It was just Treebeard. 

Pippin: So what’s your name now?

Treebeard: Tttrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeebbbeeeeaaaaaarrrddddd.

Elrond: Only the fires of Mt. Doom are hot enough to destroy the ring!

Pippin: Wait! I have another idea. 

Elrond: …

Pippin: I’m going to microwave this hot pocket 

Elrond: …

Pippin: for seven minutes. 

Treebeard: What are you, I wonder? I cannot place you?

Merry: We are…uh…updogs.

Treebeard: Hmmm? What is updogs?

Pippin: I can’t believe that just worked. 

Concept: Merry and Pippin return to Fangorn to drink a ton of the ent draught, after the destruction of the ring. They journey to Minas Tirith and when Aragorn sees them as tall as humans he immediately dies.

If the orcs hadn’t been killed and Merry and Pippin escaped, by the time the group got to Orthanc they all would have been friends. 

Elrond: And you shall be the fellowship of the ring!

Pippin: Great! We’ll all stick together and make sure to accomplish this task as a team! We’re united forever in fellowship.

Elrond: united forever? That sounds like union talk. We’re only paying you guys for this task as individual temporary contributors, and I can have another nine fellowship members here tomorrow morning if I hear anything to the contrary. 

Merry: we want to join this adventure too!

Pippin: yeah! we should go with Frodo! Anywhere he goes, we’ll go too. 

Elrond: okay, okay, little Hobbits. You may join the Fellowship of the Ring. Now, we just need all of the Fellowship members to pass a drug test before they leave. 

Merry: uhhh…

Pippin: right… 

Merry: Well, Frodo, have a good time on this journey of yours. 

Pippin: Best of luck to you all.