Category: one ring

Hey guys if your significant other ever asks you why you chose to be with them, the correct response is not to reply with Gandalf’s line to Frodo, “Such questions cannot be answered. You may be sure that it was not for any merit that others do not possess: not for power or wisdom, at any rate. But you have been chosen, and you must therefore use such strength and heart and wits as you have.”

Men being labeled as “doomed to die” in the ring poem is funny because the Doom of Mandos literally says “yet slain ye may be, and slain ye shall be” to the elves. 

The entire war of the ring wasn’t originally part of the history of middle earth. The valar had to improvise that after Elrond didn’t just kill Isildur and destroy the ring. He was supposed to do that.

Did Sauron think that dwarves were better than men and he only needed seven dwarf wraiths to equal nine human wraiths? Or did he not like dwarves as much so he didn’t bother getting as many?

Look the fact is the only way to stop a bad guy with a ring of power is a good guy with a ring of power

Elrond: Only the fires of Mt. Doom are hot enough to destroy the ring!

Pippin: Wait! I have another idea. 

Elrond: …

Pippin: I’m going to microwave this hot pocket 

Elrond: …

Pippin: for seven minutes. 

Faramir: rip to everyone else who finds the one ring lying by the side of the road but I’m different

Gandalf: All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us. 

Frodo: I mean…yeah. 

Frodo: That’s just life. You have to decide things until you die. 

Frodo: That doesn’t help me at all. Unless you’re telling me to kill myself, and make the ring someone else’s problem? I suppose that would work though. 

Frodo: I will be the ringbearer. 

Gandalf: Oh jeez, Frodo is going to carry it? He’s so tiny, it’s going to take forever to walk to Mordor. 

Elrond: True. But what if someone carried him there?

*Long silence*

Aragorn: I will be the Hobbitbearer. 

Sauron’s power was in the one ring. Frodo threw the ring into lava. Now Sauron’s power is infused into the geological body of middle earth. That was his plan all along. So obvious.