Category: one ring


Gandalf: I can put it no plainer than by saying that Bilbo was meant to find the Ring, and not by its maker

Me: no plainer, really Gandalf? There’s nothing about that that you could clarify further? Nothing at all?


When the One Ring was destroyed, everyone in Middle Earth benefitted. But there’s one person who I think benefited the most. 

When Gollum talks about wanting the One Ring back, he says he wants to be called “Gollum the Great” and be served fresh fish from the sea. Which means someone needs to serve him a fish and call him that every day. Some poor bastard was going to be Gollum’s servant if he got the ring back. And his existence was spared when it got destroyed. I think about that guy a lot. 


March 25th, T.A. 3019

The One Ring is destroyed in the fires of Mount Doom, and Sauron defeated once and for all.


Sauron’s 1 ring + 9 moral rings = 10 working evil rings

Elves 3 rings + 7 dwarves rings = 10 rings that didn’t make wraiths

I don’t know what to do with this information but only 50% of the rings were effective which means Sauron got an F in ring forging. 


Bilbo: *taking off One Ring in the Elven Kings hall* Hi everyone, I’m sorry to startle all of you but I have to speak up. I’ve been burgling this place for a few weeks now, and this is honestly the 20th party I’ve seen. You people are out of control. Shouldn’t you be doing something about the spiders or the evil forest out there? It’s a mess. I just thought someone needed to say something about this. 


Considering that

a) The One Ring never changed hands, Frodo brought it and took it

b) Everyone just went around telling stories one at a time

I think the Council of Elrond is a great example of a meeting that could have just been an email


Are we supposed to believe that Sauron needed the one ring to go on the outside of his armored glove? Just so that everyone would be able to see it? Would he really be that dramatic?


The three elves rings drew power from the One Ring but Sauron didn’t have any access to them. What a back-fire for him. How humiliating that must have been.

The Council of Elrond

Frodo: I will take the ring. 

Elrond: What does everything here think? Should Frodo be the ringbearer?

Gandalf: You know how the whole world is a song?

Elrond: Yeah

Gandalf: Halfling rhymes with ring. 

Elrond: Well that’s good enough for me. Frodo, you’re the ringbearer.


Me: But the reason Frodo even became the ringbearer is because he was so weak, he could handle the ring and not be tempted by it! Hobbit’s very strengths lie in the fact that they’re a simple people who can be trusted with power in the ways that the rich and wise couldn’t be!

Banker: So…we should give you this massive home loan…specifically because you’re out of work and don’t have good credit?

Me: Yes, exactly!