Category: one ring

When Frodo asked Sam “What are we holding onto?” Sam replies “There’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it’s worth fighting for.”

This is an error in the film. In fact, the two are holding on to the One Ring, which they are carrying to Mordor. That’s the reason for their journey. Sean Astin improvised this response when he forgot what they were doing. 

I would not take this thing, if it lay by the highway. I would not take this thing, if it lay by a byway. I would not take it if you asked. I would not take it very fast. I would not take it to my dad. I would not take it to be glad. 

I love the whole “such is oft the course of deeds that move the wheels of the world: small hands do them because they must, while the eyes of the great are elsewhere” quote, but at the end of the Hobbit, Gandalf tells to Bilbo that his luck and adventure was simply part of some even larger story. So small hands do the work because the eyes of the great are elsewhere, except the eyes of the even greater are watching to make sure a Hobbit finds the one ring so it can be destroyed. 

Why didn’t the eagles take the ring and fly into the sun, sacrificing themselves but destroying sauron in the coolest possible way. 

Boromir, the ring is toxic and asking to use it is super problematic. If you keep doing that we’re gonna have to cancel Gondor. 

If so much of Sauron’s power went into the One Ring that destroying it rendered him essentially killed, how weak was he without it? Did he need orcs to open doors for him? 

Why was Bilbo’s ring the bridge between the Hobbit and LotR when it so obviously should have been the cup that Bilbo steals. The sequel could have been the Lord of the Cups. Put the cup in the fire and an inscription reveals that it’s Sauron’s personal goblet. If you drink out of it you become immortal. Everyone is afraid of the Cupwraiths. 

Elrond: the fate of Middle Earth rests in you getting the ring to the fires, Frodo. 

Frodo: oh my! so then we should leave immediately, right? 

Elrond: nah, you can chill here for another few weeks.

Elrond: Also if you make it to Lothlorien, feel free to kill a month resting there too. No rush. 

A mortal, Frodo, who keeps one of the Great Rings, does not die, but he does not grow or obtain more life, he merely continues, until at last every minute is a weariness. Like when you’re in english class and look at the clock and it says 12:55, and then you look back again 30 minutes later and it says 12:57. That’s what having a Great Ring is like. 

Making original jokes about Lord of the Rings is hard. The books have been out for over 60 years. I’m proud of myself for thinking of “One Ring to Rule the Mall” and someone already thought of that in 1985. It’s rough.