Category: lord of the rings

Regular

For his entire time in the Fellowship, Boromir thought that Pippin’s first name was “Foolofa.”

Regular

The Fourth Age

Pippin: your majesty!

Aragorn: you don’t have to do that. Just call me Aragorn.

Merry: and pass up on a chance to call you your majesty? Not likely.

Pippin: *gesturing wildly* your excellence, this is madness. How could you suggest that?

Merry: your royal Aragornness, truly, we bow to thee.

Aragorn: please stop it.

Regular

I know Gandalf is being nice when he tells Butterbur, “May your beer be laid under an enchantment of surpassing excellence for seven years!” But what happens after those years? Does the beer just start to go downhill? What happens when all of the customers get angry and start going to other places? Either bless a place forever, or don’t bother. 

Regular

How exactly did Smaug hear that the dwarves of the Lonely Mountain had a lot of gold? Who had normal, gossipy conversation with him? Did he overhear someone mentioning dwarf gold while he was shopping at a market or something?

Regular

Discussion: If you could live anywhere in Middle-earth, where would you live and why?

Lothlórien would be the location I’d choose. When reading The Lord of the Rings for the first time, I was captivated by the beauty of this place and I never really wanted to leave. If there were a 1000-page book just about everyday life in Lothlórien, I would read it without question. 🌌

Regular

6 hour long fight at this year’s Tolkien Historical Society Conference about whether Middle Earth has bees, before I reminded everyone that the Rohirrim had mead halls, which means they had honey, which means there’s bees. Everyone sighed and the conference continued. This is the life of a Tolkien scholar. 

Regular

Frodo: I am glad you are here with me. Here at the end of all things, Sam.

Me: There’s, like, 100 more pages in this book, what the hell?

Regular

Gandalf: I will not say: do not weep; for I am a hardcore feminist and emotional expressions are important for men and women. Don’t bottle up your emotions, that’s toxic. 

Regular

Gandalf: The ringbearer will decide where we go. 

Frodo: Wait so I’m deciding if we keep hiking up this terrible mountain…or like…going through an abandoned mine that’s probably haunted?

Gandalf: yes

Frodo: Bruh, I’m from the Shire. It’s flat farmland and this is my first time out of it. I have no idea. Why are you making me decide? Let’s flip a coin, that’s honestly the best way. 

Regular

Bilbo: *taking off One Ring in the Elven Kings hall* Hi everyone, I’m sorry to startle all of you but I have to speak up. I’ve been burgling this place for a few weeks now, and this is honestly the 20th party I’ve seen. You people are out of control. Shouldn’t you be doing something about the spiders or the evil forest out there? It’s a mess. I just thought someone needed to say something about this.