Category: lord of the rings

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Is it too much to ask for a Lord of the Rings/Hamilton crossover where “the room where it happens” is a song about Boromir wanting to be at the Council of Elrond?

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Aragorn: Bilbo, Elrond told me that you needed me to help finish a poem? What can I do?

Bilbo: Let me read you what I have so far. 

Bilbo: *recites completed Earendil Was a Mariner poem*

Aragorn: That, uh, sounds pretty fine. What part did you need me for?

Bilbo: I just wanted you to hear how awesome my poetry is. 

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Elrond: hey, i need you to reforge this sword for me, so keep it the same

Elf smith: I mean, it’s super broken. Can I melt it down and make it again with the liquid metal?

Elrond: It’s a magic sword. i don’t know if that’s gonna mess with it. i need a ghost king to respect this sword.

elf smith: so the ghost king is gonna know if it’s not the same exact sword?

elrond: look man, i dont know. magic is weird. just do your best, okay?

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Boromir: and if we fail, what then? What happens when Sauron takes back what’s his?

Gandalf: um, I head back to Valinor and leave you guys to deal with this?

Elrond: Ditto.

Legolas: Same. Gimli can join, too.

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Tolkien quotes to inspire wanderlust

“He found himself wondering at times, especially in the autumn, about the wild lands, and strange visions of mountains that he had never seen came into his dreams.”

J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

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If you start playing Bohemian Rhapsody just as the rohirrim start to charge at the orcs in the Return of the King, it doesn’t sync up or anything but it’s pretty fun.

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*Many years later*

Frodo: Why did I have to take the ring to the lava of Mordor? Why wouldn’t any other lava work?

Elrond: oh, it would have.

Frodo: what? Then why didn’t we do that?

Elrond: it was ironic that the ring was destroyed where it was made, so close to Sauron. I couldn’t pass up on that kind of drama.

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“It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.”

Bilbo Baggins

(The Fellowship of the Ring, Chap. 3: Three Is Company)

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The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say.

Bilbo Baggins

(The Fellowship of the Ring, Chap. 1: A Long-expected Party)

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My bio professor: I was looking over your exam. For the building blocks of DNA, you wrote “Aragorn, Theoden, Cirdan, and Gimli.”

Me: yeah I was being humorous, you know? The letters are the same, and –

My bio professor: I think you need to see the school psychologist, okay?