Category: hobbits

Baby: *crying*

Me: Hungry again? Looks like someone wants second dinner!

Wife: for the last time he’s not a hobbit. 

Within Middle Earth, Hobbits were respected and appreciated after the fall of Sauron. But in other countries who only heard secondhand news of what happened? A previously unknown race of creatures essentially assassinated the most powerful force around? They were feared.

Aragorn: We seek two of our friends whom the orcs had taken. They would appear small to you, like children. 

Eomer: We counted all of the dead, and there were no children among them.

Gimli: They weren’t children, they were halflings!

Eomer: Halflings! Those were just a legend to us! They’re real?

Aragorn: Yes, they are. 

Eomer: According to the old stories I’d heard about Halflings, they were hunted by the men of Rohan. I’d heard that they were delicious to eat. Is that true?


Aragorn: ………… I haven’t been able to find out yet…

I’m amazed that Tolkien, who had a near addiction to making up new words, would be willing to settle on the phrase “second breakfast” without calling it something else.

Hobbits: after his adventure, Bilbo was changed! He became…the Mad Baggins!

Bilbo: *writes poetry and tells stories*

Hobbits: he’s mad, we tell you! Crazy!

Manwe: well well, it looks like the race of Hobbits really saved the 3rd age. How interesting. They truly are a fine group of creatures, it seems. 

Mandos: Truly! The mind of Iluvatar must be great, to have designed them. 

Aule: Hmmm. They’re Short. Hardy. Take a while to fade. I think Iluvatar stole my idea!

Manwe: What?

Aule: I created dwarves, and he wanted some, so he copied them and made Hobbits. 

Mandos: Iluvatar wouldn’t do that. 

Aule: How do you explain Hobbits then? They’re just dwarves but changed a bit! This is very uncool of him. 

Lord of the Rings is super long, and there’s like 10 other books that are just additional thoughts that Tolkien had. Which means it’s really easy to say something like “Hobbits eat their dead” and someone has a LOT of reading they have to do in order to disprove you. 

People think of Hobbits as very simple, but they’re apparently constantly building things that are round and made of wood. Round doors, round door frames, rounded corridors, etc. Doesn’t that take a ton of math like trigonometry? Are Hobbits really good at math? Can someone confirm this for me?

Men: Sauron taking over

Elves: Sauron taking over

Dwarves: Sauron taking over

Wizards: Sauron taking over

Hobbits: Poetry