Category: gondor

I always forget that Rohan is north of Gondor because I associate Rohan with cowboys and Gondor with like, city folk, and it’s weird thinking about cowboys living north of the city folk, you know? It just feels like they should be in the warmer south. 

Is there any proof that Minas Tirith had court jesters? Edoras? What about Angband? Did Morgoth have some orc prance around when he was feeling gloomy? 

PLEASE SIGNAL BOOST: I’m trying to reboot LotR but this time, Barad Dur is a giant mech that Sauron uses to attack Gondor. I need the Tolkien family or Warner Bros to see this.

What you need to be a good ruler:

  • Ability to recite poetry on the spot
  • Descended from a line of kings
  • Fancy sword with a name
  • Wife who is more powerful than you

What you don’t need to be a good ruler:

  • Knowledge about taxes
  • Experience governing
  • Anything else

The Middle-Earth aesthetic | A R A G O R N |
Dunadan of the North

The grey figure of the man, Aragorn son of Arathorn, was tall, and stern
as stone, his hand upon the hilt of his sword; he looked as if some
king out of the mists of the sea had stepped upon the shores of lesser

You think Aragorn is fit to be king of Gondor? He wasn’t even born here! And he grew up with elves, speaking their weird language. Check his birth certificate, he was probably born way up north or something. We don’t want some immigrant showing up and telling us Gondorians to bow to a bunch of small men. And we’re supposed to be happy that he ‘returned’ when he was never king in the first place? Give me a break. 

Gondor: Strong centralized government with taxation. Well-built and maintained city walls that have never been broken. Clean streets and shining white marble houses. 

Mirkwood: Lone road trough forest is completely unkempt. Lack of zoning laws means a necromancer and spiders live nearby. Poor prison security. 

As a Took, Pippin continued the family tradition of being wealthy, by opening Middle Earth’s first all-you-can-eat-buffet in Gondor. It was incredibly successful. 

The Middle-Earth aesthetic | Arwen Undomiel,
Queen of the Reunited Kingdom of Arnor and Gondor

Look I may not have the “education” and “experience” to do this job, but did Aragorn have those things before he became king of Gondor? I don’t think so. So maybe you should trust me to be the Sales Manager at this Best Buy and see how things turn out around here.