The Balrog reached the bridge. Gandalf stood in the middle of the span, leaning on the staff in his left hand. Suddenly he took out a banjo from behind his robes and began to strum it menacingly. The Balrog halted. “You cannot pass,” Gandalf began to sing.
Gandalf: Well, here at last, dear friends, on the shores of the Sea comes the end of our fellowship in Middle-earth. I know that there’s literally a chapter called “The Breaking of the Fellowship” all the way back in the Fellowship of the Ring, but we’re gonna ignore that for a moment. That was just Boromir dying and everyone splitting up. This is the real breaking of the fellowship.
In order to distract Sauron, Gandalf and Aragorn had a bunch of op-eds published in the New Middle Earth Times about how they were gonna kick his ass on the battlefield, and even though Sauron said he never read that newspaper it was obvious that he did, and all of this helped Frodo sneak undetected into Mordor.
I respect Bilbo because if it had been me, I would 100% have killed Gollum. I’m invisible with a sword, and he’s super creepy with giant eyes that see in the dark? I still don’t feel safe! I am absolutely slicing that dude into sashimi. “Gollum had not actually threatened to kill him, or tried yet,” c’mon man, you know he wanted to, it would basically be self-defense. Which brings me to my other point, I think I would also invisibly kill Thorin and Gandalf for making me go on this journey in the first place.
One of the funniest moments I remember from the book is when the Fellowship is attempting to cross the mountain pass of Caradhras. All of a sudden, the travellers find their path blocked by a heap of snow. Then Legolas picks a very bad moment to be a smartass by suggesting that Gandalf should go in front of them and melt a path in the snow. The wizard, of course, is not amused and replies in his snarkiest, most sarcastic tone:
“If Elves could fly over mountains, they might fetch the Sun to save us”
What are some of your funniest moments from The Lord of the Rings? Tell me in the comments. 😂