Category: gandalf

Gandalf: Others dwelt here before hobbits were; and others will dwell here again when hobbits are no more.

Frodo: sorry are you threatening me right now?

Pippin: I didn’t think it would end this way.

Gandalf: End? No, the journey doesn’t end here. Death is just another path, one that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass, and then you see it.

Pippin: What? Gandalf? See what?

Gandalf: Orlando, Florida. Disneyland. The greatest place on earth, Pippin. Epcot. Animal Kingdom. The final resting place of the mortal soul. 

They have taken the bridge and the second hall. We have barred the gates but cannot hold them for long. The ground shakes, drums… drums in the deep.

*Seven Nation Army starts playing*

Gandalf: *cocks shotgun*

Pippin: I didn’t think it would end this way.

Gandalf: How did you think it would end?

Pippin: I mean…in a haze of pipeweed, stuffed with food, choking on a final teacake? That always seemed likely for me. 

Bilbo: I need a holiday — a very long holiday — and I don’t expect I shall return. In fact, I mean not to!

Gandalf: A holiday from what? What do you even do?

Saruman: White! It serves as a beginning. White cloth may dyed. The white page can be overwritten; and the white light can be broken.

Gandalf: In which case it is no longer white.

Saruman: Not if you use a Tide Stick Plus ™. With one simple swipe, you can bring stained clothes back to new. Your whites will shine again! 

Gandalf: Wow! I’m sure that must cost at least 50 dollars. 

Saruman: Would you believe it’s only 10.99 plus shipping? What a bargain!

Hey guys if your significant other ever asks you why you chose to be with them, the correct response is not to reply with Gandalf’s line to Frodo, “Such questions cannot be answered. You may be sure that it was not for any merit that others do not possess: not for power or wisdom, at any rate. But you have been chosen, and you must therefore use such strength and heart and wits as you have.”

Gandalf: All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us. 

Frodo: I mean…yeah. 

Frodo: That’s just life. You have to decide things until you die. 

Frodo: That doesn’t help me at all. Unless you’re telling me to kill myself, and make the ring someone else’s problem? I suppose that would work though. 

“Despair, or folly?” said Gandalf. “It is not despair, for despair is only for those who see the end beyond all doubt. We do not.”

“Dispair of nuts,” muttered Elrond under is breath. 

‘Hold it up!’ said Gandalf. ‘And look closely!’

As Frodo did so, he now saw fine lines, finer than the finest pen-strokes, running along the ring, outside and inside: lines of fire that
seemed to form the letters of a flowing script. They shone piercingly
bright, and yet remote, as if out of a great depth. They read “If lost, return to Barad-Dur.”