Hey guys if your significant other ever asks you why you chose to be with them, the correct response is not to reply with Gandalf’s line to Frodo, “Such questions cannot be answered. You may be sure that it was not for any merit that others do not possess: not for power or wisdom, at any rate. But you have been chosen, and you must therefore use such strength and heart and wits as you have.”
Aragorn: I am Aragorn son of Arathorn; and if by life or death I can save you, I will.
Frodo: wait by my death or your death?
Aragorn: My death.
Frodo: oh that’s okay then. I mean, thanks.
Bilbo: It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.
Frodo: That’s a good point, uncle Bilbo. I think I’ll stay indoors where it’s much safer. The outside world is too scary.
*over in Valinor*
Mandos: Uh…guys, I think we have a problem.
While wandering around Galadriel’s lembas factory, Frodo and Sam drank some elven Fizzy Lifting Drink. Galadriel was furious at them until Frodo offered her the one ring and then it turned out that Frodo won Lothlorien.
Boromir: you must be pretty special, little hobbit, to have been chosen for this great honor.
Frodo: thank you. I mean, someone has to carry the ri-
Boromir: yes, not many are worthy of going on a quest with Boromir the Great. You must be special indeed. Now, what are we doing again? Saving Minas Tirith? Let’s get going.
The ring bearer was wealthy Bilbo Baggin’s nephew, and three of his friends got to join the Fellowship of the Ring? Sounds like nepotism to me. Someone should into how Elrond chooses party members, there’s likely some corruption going on.
Gandalf: All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.
Frodo: I mean…yeah.
Frodo: That’s just life. You have to decide things until you die.
Frodo: That doesn’t help me at all. Unless you’re telling me to kill myself, and make the ring someone else’s problem? I suppose that would work though.
Spiderman: Far From Home reminds me a lot of the scene in Lord of the Rings where Boromir does his whole ring monologue, if Frodo had said, “you know what, that sounds great. You totally should have the ring. Here you go. I can’t want to see what you do with this.”
Frodo: I will be the ringbearer.
Gandalf: Oh jeez, Frodo is going to carry it? He’s so tiny, it’s going to take forever to walk to Mordor.
Elrond: True. But what if someone carried him there?
Aragorn: I will be the Hobbitbearer.