Category: frodo

Regular

Frodo: The ring is mine!

Sam: You were the chosen one! It was said that you would destroy Sauron, not join him!

Regular

Satan: So you’ve been sent to hell for eternity. 

Me: Damn. What’s my punishment. 

Satan: You’re gonna be stuck with Greg. He’s a huge Lord of the Rings fan with a ton of theories about it that he wants to share with you. 

Me: That doesn’t sound that bad. 

Satan: They’re all really edgy and stupid. 

Greg: What if Frodo killed himself, and the vision of him sailing to Valinor is just his final wishes as he dies?

Me: Nooooooooooo. 

Regular

Frodo:  I will take the Ring, though I do not know the way. 

Elrond:  If I understand aright
all that I have heard, it sounds like I don’t have to do anything for this quest. I was worried that someone was going to say that, since I couldn’t stop Isildur the first time, it would be poetic for me to go back and finish the job myself. Honestly I was moments away from volunteering to do that. Thank god you spoke up first. Frodo, you have my blessing. I’m gonna go take a nap. 

Regular

Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Apparently Sauron was a Necromancer, so…yes? I think so? It’s not very clear but I’m gonna go with yes, as long as you’re okay with necromancy. 

Regular

When Frodo says, “Go not to the Elves for counsel,
for they will say both no and yes,” he’s talking to Gildor, who is one of the Noldor, who are a race of elves that actually had a problem with not saying no sometimes. 

Regular

Gandalf, to Frodo: “But you have been chosen, and you
must therefore use such strength and heart and wits as you have.”

Manwe: We need a new hero who can handle Sauron’s ring.

Yavanna: Oh! Make it a Baggins! Bilbo was great. 

Manwe: Bilbo is too old. 

Tulkas: Then find another Baggins, and we’ll choose them!

*Valar and Maiar chanting*: Make it a Baggins! Make it a Baggins!

Regular

Sam: I can’t carry it for you, Mr. Frodo. But I can carry you!

Frodo: No Sam, it’s just on a chain, you can easily carry it. Actually you already carried it before, it’s really not a big deal. Just toss it in and we’ll head back.

Regular

Sam: Do you think we’ll ever be put into song or story, Mr. Frodo?

Frodo: I’m sure we will, Sam. 

Sam: Do you think, if that happens, the story will include Tom Bombadil? I mean, he seems important to me, sir. 

Frodo: I’m sure any tale about us would have to include old Tom. I mean, how could it not? He helped show us that there was limit to the influence of Sauron’s evil. And during my stay there, it became clear that the ring had a hold over me. It certainly seems like an important scene to add. I just don’t see why he’d be cut from any tale, if you ask me. 

Regular

Family: when are you finishing your PhD?

Me: it took Gandalf 17 years to research a single thing for Frodo. how about we all keep that in mind, okay?

Regular

Me: So the Fellowship of the Ring originally set out from Rivendell…

My lit professor: yes

Me: But then Frodo and Sam split off into a duo-ship, and then they get Gollum so it becomes a trio-ship? And Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli are also a trio-ship? Is that correct?

My lit professor: not even a little.