Elrond: I have removed the tip of the blade from your shoulder and healed the wound, Master Frodo
Frodo: That’s awesome. How did you do it?
Elrond: That’s the job of a Healer
Frodo: So did you clean the area? Sanitize it? Stitch me up?
Elrond: Look, I prayed for Varda to heal you, and she did it. Okay? You’re healed, it doesn’t matter how it happened.
Boromir: I know the Hobbit aesthetic is to go barefoot. But aren’t we worried about Frodo walking into a volcano?
Frodo: Hobbit soles are naturally thicker! We never use shoes!
Boromir: anyone can walk barefoot around the Shire! It’s just grass and flat dirt roads. You need to climb a mountain that’s filled with lava! Why doesn’t anyone understand?
Gimli: The hardest part of the quest? Aye, that was seeing the true beauty of the Lady Galadriel. As I said back then, I would have never come, had I known the danger of light and joy.
Frodo: The hardest part for me was probably being stabbed and poisoned by Shelob, or maybe by the Witch King. Or having my finger bitten off after I succumbed to the ring. It’s hard to pick.
Frodo, sitting down to write LotR: I never thought it would happen, but Bilbo’s money is running out. I wonder if there’s any way that I can make some extra cash with this book…
Frodo and Sam were walking though the Dead Marshes. “Sam, this place sure could use some Imladris CleanScent Spray, found at stores throughout Middle Earth. That stuff can remove even the strongest stenches of evil,” said Frodo.
Gandalf: Don’t use the ring, Frodo. Keep it hidden.
Frodo: Why shouldn’t I use it?
Gandalf: if you put it on you become legally married to Sauron. Trust me, you don’t want that.
Aragorn: The counsel of Gandalf was not founded on foreknowledge of safety, for himself or for others
Frodo: Yeah I know. He sent my uncle to steal from a dragon. A fucking dragon, can you imagine that?
Bilbo: The Road goes ever on and on
Frodo: *in Mordor* oh my god this road is going on forever
Frodo: I hope Gollum isn’t tracking us
Sam: *tweeting picture of entrance to Mordor* he doesn’t even know where we are
Erestor: We cannot seek to destroy the ring! That is the path of despair.
Gandalf: It is not despair, for despair is only for those who see the end beyond all doubt. We do not.
Frodo: You play the lottery every week, right?
Gandalf: of course. One of the days I’m definitely going to win the Mega Millions. There’s always a chance, you know.