Category: frodo


Frodo: I am glad you are here with me. Here at the end of all things, Sam.

Me: There’s, like, 100 more pages in this book, what the hell?


Gandalf: The ringbearer will decide where we go. 

Frodo: Wait so I’m deciding if we keep hiking up this terrible mountain…or like…going through an abandoned mine that’s probably haunted?

Gandalf: yes

Frodo: Bruh, I’m from the Shire. It’s flat farmland and this is my first time out of it. I have no idea. Why are you making me decide? Let’s flip a coin, that’s honestly the best way. 

The Council of Elrond

Frodo: I will take the ring. 

Elrond: What does everything here think? Should Frodo be the ringbearer?

Gandalf: You know how the whole world is a song?

Elrond: Yeah

Gandalf: Halfling rhymes with ring. 

Elrond: Well that’s good enough for me. Frodo, you’re the ringbearer.


Me: But the reason Frodo even became the ringbearer is because he was so weak, he could handle the ring and not be tempted by it! Hobbit’s very strengths lie in the fact that they’re a simple people who can be trusted with power in the ways that the rich and wise couldn’t be!

Banker: So…we should give you this massive home loan…specifically because you’re out of work and don’t have good credit?

Me: Yes, exactly!


Galadriel: You will give me this ring freely?

Frodo: No. But for three easy payments of 19.99, can you really afford to not take this ring?

Galadriel: Damn, that’s such a good point. 


Mouth of Sauron: So you want me to go tell them that we’re torturing Frodo?

Sauron: Yeah

Mouth of Sauron: Do we actually have him?

Sauron: No, but we’re looking. 

Mouth of Sauron:

Mouth of Sauron: If they find out I’m bluffing, I’m gonna look really stupid. 

Sauron: They’re going to believe you. You’re very scary looking, Greg. 

Mouth of Sauron: Thanks. That means a lot. 


I recommend all teachers start their lessons with Galadriel’s quote to Frodo in front of the mirror, “You may learn something, and whether what you see be fair or evil, that may be profitable, and yet it may not. Seeing is both good and perilous.” It really gets your attention and makes the rest of the day seem important. 


Frodo: I do not now choose what I was going to do. I will keep the ring. It is mine!

Marie Kondo: *appearing from nowhere* ah but does this object spark joy for you?

Frodo: no…no, it’s a heavy burden.

Marie: then you can throw it away. I believe in you.

Frodo: *throws ring in lava*




I relate to Frodo because once, a mile into a long hike, I had a piece of gum and I had to carry the wrapper all the way back to the cabins to to use a trashcan.