Category: bilbo

Bilbo: It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.

Frodo: That’s a good point, uncle Bilbo. I think I’ll stay indoors where it’s much safer. The outside world is too scary. 

*over in Valinor*

Mandos: Uh…guys, I think we have a problem. 

Bilbo “corrupted” the next generation hobbits, but like, to what extent? Merry and Pippin wanted to go on an adventure, but no one did until Frodo. Was the next generation just weird? Constantly stealing cups? Reciting random bits of poetry?

“Well, thief! I smell you and I feel your air. I hear your breath. Come along!
Help yourself again, there is plenty and to spare!”

But Bilbo was not quite so unlearned in dragon-lore as all that, and if Smaug
hoped to get him to come nearer so easily he was disappointed.

I didn’t realize that you needed to be learned in dragon-lore to be able to avoid an angry and sardonic dragon asking you to reveal yourself so he can kill you. 

Lobelia Sackville-Baggins put on her secret Dwarven ring of power, turning invisible. She sneuck into Bag End using the secret doorway. Silently, she grabbed a silver spoon and began to retreat. 

“Well, thief! I smell you and I feel your air,” said Bilbo angrily. 

Smaug: Well, thief. How about we trade? You seem well mannered, so you may have something that I desire, that I can trade for.

Bilbo: and what is that?

Smaug: all I have is gold, silver, and jewels. I need something to blow my nose in if I sneeze – it’s quite dusty in here. Perhaps if you had a pocket handkerchief, I would be willing to give even the arkenstone for it. 

Bilbo: I should talk in riddles. If I’ve learned anything on this adventure, it’s that things that want to kill and eat me love riddles. 

Bilbo, in the Hobbit: gets captured by goblins in a mountain, has to come up with riddles to save his life in a mountain, has to survive a cunning dragon in a mountain.

Bilbo, in LotR: I want to see mountains again, Gandalf.

When I first read the Hobbit and that Bilbo lived in a “hole in the ground” I assumed that was just like, a hole. And Tolkien is saying that it’s not oozy or sandy or anything and I’m like, yeah, but it’s a hole. Like, a pit or something. How is a pit comfortable? Bilbo just sits in this elegant pit in the ground?

Honestly when Bilbo tells the trolls that he is “a good cook myself, and cook better than I cook, if you see what I mean,” it would have been great if the Trolls just enlisted him to cook all of the dwarves. That would have gotten him out of his adventure quickly, too, which I’m sure he would have appreciated. 

Bilbo: I am he that buries his friends alive and drowns them and draws them alive again from the water.

Smaug: Jeez…you sound like a terrible friend. Why are you doing that to people you supposedly care about? You’re a monster.