Category: bilbo baggins

Regular

It’s a dangerous business going out your front door. It’s also dangerous not to even have a door at all, because people can sneak into your house and destroy your ancient rings of power. 

Regular

Me: I feel I need a holiday, a very long holiday, as I have told you before. Probably a permanent holiday: I don’t expect I shall return. In fact, I don’t mean to, and I have made all arrangements.

My wife: You’re in your late twenties, and you have a job. What are you talking about? Did you quit your job?

Me: I want to see mountain again.

The Middle-Earth aesthetic | The Hobbit: An …

The Middle-Earth aesthetic |
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey 

..you are very welcome to stay here, if that is your wish..

Regular

Bilbo: The Road goes ever on and on

Frodo: *in Mordor* oh my god this road is going on forever

The Middle-Earth aesthetic | The Hobbit: An …

The Middle-Earth aesthetic |
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Regular

*Any minor inconvenience happens to anyone*

Me: If there’s any grumbling to be done, I think I might have a say

Regular

Thorin: The arkenstone is worth more than a river of gold
in itself, and to me it is beyond price. 

Bilbo: Thorin, a river of gold would be worthless. You’d never be able to collect or guard the gold, it would devalue everything. It’s supply would completely outstrip dema-

Thorin: Okay I get it, I just want the Arkenstone!

Regular

At the start of the Lord of the Rings

Hobbits: It’s not fair that Bilbo has seemingly everlasting age and wealth. It will have to be paid for in some way!

At the end of the Lord of the Rings

Bilbo: Bye everyone! I’m off to what is basically heaven on earth to die of a bliss overload! Life’s been good.

Regular

Genie: And your next wish, sir? Again, if you desire, I can fix all of the climate problems, end world hunger, or create homes for everyone.

Me: I want a full-length comedy movie, starring Martin Freeman, about all of Bilbo’s crazy adventures while he was living in the halls of the Wood King. 

When someone introduces themselves and already…

Me:  You seem
familiar with my name, but I don’t seem to remember smelling you before. Who
are you and where do you come from, may I ask?