Category: bilbo baggins

Bilbo’s parents watching from heaven

Belladonna: I’m so proud to see him going off on an adventure! There really is some Took in him after all.

Bungo: He forgot his pocket handkerchief! Who forgets their pocket handkerchief?

Regular

I’m just saying, if the Council took Bilbo up on his offer to take the ring to Mordor, he would have done it in a merry fashion, had a great adventure, and returned with a bunch of riches from Mordor. Not sure why they didn’t go with that. 

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The entire conversation between Bilbo and Gandalf about going on an adventure, except it’s Morgoth trying to convince Ungoliant to attack Valinor with him. 

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Gandalf’s eyes flashed. ‘It will be my turn to get angry soon,’ he
said. ‘If you say that again, I shall. Then you will see Gandalf the
Grey uncloaked.’ He took a step towards the hobbit and began unbuttoning his shirt. 

Regular

Gollum, who murdered his best friend for something he’d just found: I cannot BELIEVE that this Baggins just STOLE from me! I hate him forever now! You can’t just STEAL someone’s things that you find on the floor. I am absolutely incensed right now! Thief! Thief! 

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Very, very important question for a spec script that I’m gonna send to Amazon to see if they want to use for their show, and I need to know this key detail: do Hobbit auctioneers talk super fast like real life ones? Please answer asap.

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Jeweler: okay so I have your engagement ring ready, but you said you had something in mind for the box?

Me. Yeah. I need you to make something that fits with the line, “A box without hinges, key, or lid, yet golden treasure inside is hid.”

Jeweler: a box without a hinge or a lid? what kind of box is that? i have no idea what that means.

Me: figure it out. that’s what im paying you for!

Regular

I respect Bilbo because if it had been me, I would 100% have killed Gollum. I’m invisible with a sword, and he’s super creepy with giant eyes that see in the dark? I still don’t feel safe! I am absolutely slicing that dude into sashimi. “Gollum had not actually threatened to kill him, or tried yet,” c’mon man, you know he wanted to, it would basically be self-defense. Which brings me to my other point, I think I would also invisibly kill Thorin and Gandalf for making me go on this journey in the first place. 

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“Somehow the killing of the giant spider, all alone by himself in the dark without the help of the wizard or the dwarves or of anyone else, made a great difference to Mr. Baggins.”

I get it Bilbo, I remember living alone and killing a spider in my kitchen at 1am. It made me a stronger person too. 

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When Thorin says that Bilbo values “food and cheer above hoarded gold” he means that literally. Drink, eat, and party in your living room, and have a bunch of hoarded gold in your basement below you.