Category: aragorn

I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me…I mean…it already has, kind of. What are we doing here? Frodo is obviously dead. There’s only a few dozen of us, a hundred at most. What can we do? Sauron is a god. Everybody retreat! retreat!

Ghost king: so I’m supposed to respect you because you have a sword? Does it burst into flames?

Aragorn: no

Ghost king: it doesn’t even burst into flames

Aragorn: What do you fear, lady?

Éowyn: When the serving-maid hands me a mug of mead and says “enjoyeth the fine drink my lady,” I’m always terrified of saying “and so with thee” back to her. 

“Halflings!” laughed the rider that stood beside Eomer, “Halflings! But they are only a little people in old songs and children’s tales out of the North. Do we walk in legends or on the green earth in the daylight?”

“You didn’t think that Halflings were real?” asked Aragorn. “That’s like, super racist, dude. Are elves also imaginary?”

“It’s 3019, I thought we were past this,” muttered Legolas. 

Aragorn says “Dawn is ever the hope of men” which is a nice quote but honestly knowing the Valar, the sun and moon could go away at any time and they’d take ages to fix it which means I wouldn’t exactly count on dawn. 

Aragorn: I am Aragorn son of Arathorn; and if by life or death I can save you, I will. 

Frodo: wait by my death or your death?

Aragorn: My death. 

Frodo: oh that’s okay then. I mean, thanks. 

When Aragorn dreams that Arwen is kissing him in the water, that’s just his horse licking his face. 

Aragorn: my friends, you bow to no one.

Random guy: LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK

Aragorn: it’s true, these hobbits are the real heroes.

Random guy: YOU’RE WHISPERING AND WE CAN’T HEAR YOU BACK HERE

Concept: Merry and Pippin return to Fangorn to drink a ton of the ent draught, after the destruction of the ring. They journey to Minas Tirith and when Aragorn sees them as tall as humans he immediately dies.

Frodo: I will be the ringbearer. 

Gandalf: Oh jeez, Frodo is going to carry it? He’s so tiny, it’s going to take forever to walk to Mordor. 

Elrond: True. But what if someone carried him there?

*Long silence*

Aragorn: I will be the Hobbitbearer.