Author: The Earthbound Clouds

Regular

It’s a little disappointing that, when facing Shelob, Frodo didn’t use Bilbo’s advice and taunt her with “Attercop” and “Tomnoddy.”

Regular

I was explaining very carefully,“
answered the wizard crossly. "If you must know more, his name is Beorn. He is
very strong, and he is a skin-changer.”

“OwO what’s this! A Furry?” asked Bilbo.

“Good gracious heavens, no, no, NO, NO!” said Gandalf.

Regular

I really want a poster with a background of the Misty Mountains or Rivendell, but instead of text about wandering or being lost, I want my actual favorite Tolkien quote, “Also eagles aren’t forks.” It’s both true and beautiful. 

Regular

Sauron: I am Annatar, Lord of Gifts

Celebrimbor: oh cool. The first age just ended and it really sucked for us elves. Where were you and your gifts? Also what makes you a lord, exactly?

Sauron: I was…uh…busy. Here’s a cool rock I found. Can you teach me how to make a ring of power?

Regular

The Hobbit book: “He wasn’t a bad fellow, and quite decent to the prisoners”

The Hobbit film: 

Regular

Because Sauron still existed as a weakend ghost after the destruction of the ring, I like to think that Frodo found him and followed him around, telling him all the times that the ring was close to him and he didn’t know.

“Bilbo wore it in Mirkwood, that was pretty close to Dol Guldur. I was across the river from the Witch King, I guess you knew that. But I was also across the field from him as he left Minas Morgul, and I was right next to the Black Gate. So many times you could have gotten it back! Also I walked across Mordor, that must really bother you. Hey where are you going?”

Regular

So Finrod and Sauron have their song battle, and Sauron wins. But right after that, Sauron “stripped from them their disguise,” because Finrod had made them appear like orcs. So did Sauron think he was having a battle with an orc who knew a ton about Noldor history and was an amazing singer?

Regular

Feanor: You cannot break open the Silmarils! To do so would kill me!

Manwe:

Mandos:

Fingolfin:

Finarfin:

Manwe: So, uh, are we gonna, or

Regular

How the fuck is there a place called the Isle of Werewolves in the Silmarillion and I still don’t have a tv show about that?

Regular

The least realistic thing about the Lord of the Rings is that a team got together for a group project, decided everything in one meeting, and their plan worked.