Date: Have you thought about wanting kids?

Me: I want to have two kids. Identical twins, if possible. For one, I want to read all of the Lord of the Rings and then show them the movies. For the other, I want to show them the movies and then read the books. Then I want to measure their opinion on each. I guess if I had more kids I could add in the Hobbit and Silmarillion and do more experimentation. I haven’t thought that all out yet. What about you?

Date: Waiter? Check please, I need to leave immediately.